If I could have any power…
Dear Five-Year-Old Me,
You should really stop throwing all those tantrums. Even though you think it’s going to help you get your way, it doesn’t. It just makes Mom want to pick you up and throw you at the wall. And when Mom tells you to stop poking Shaz, you should probably stop. He’s bigger than you, and I hope you’ve learned by now that he WILL punch you. One day in the future you two will love each other a lot, but right now you’re making it hard for that to happen. Also, good job with all the soccer and softball lately. One day you’ll be really great and you’ll be glad that Mom is making you go to all these practices. By the way, Dad is never going to buy you that motorized Barbie Jeep that you’ve been wanting, so just give up on that now. Well anyways, have fun spending the night at Erin’s house this weekend. Be careful around her cat Snowy. You’re REALLY allergic to her. And if you pet her too much your eyes will swell up and it will look like you got punched in the face.
If I could have any ability I desire, I would have unlimited memory. Every conversation I would have and every fact I would learn I would be able to recall perfectly. I would also have night vision, especially since I’m afraid of the dark. Also, I wouldn’t need sleep to be able to function so I can work at all times of the day. I would be much more efficient and have more free time. Lastly, I would be able to hear other people’s thoughts, but I would be able to control when I did and didn’t want to hear them so I don’t go crazy.
If I were President…
If I could genetically modify the way my children will turn out, they would be tall and slender. They would be those kids that can pick up any sport and master it in no time. They would be dark-skinned and would have curly hair, because I’d want them to look different from everyone else. They would have perfect teeth without needing braces, and would have incredibly fast metabolism. They would be musically-inclined and would learn how to play the piano, violin, and guitar at a young age. They would be outgoing and compassionate, and always eager to learn. If I could genetically modify my children, they would be destined for greatness. They would be intelligent, talented, and passionate.
This is what my child would look like if I were to make a baby with John Legend, an intelligent, talented and passionate man.
If I were the president of the United States, I would outlaw soda because it makes people fat. I would encourage people of all races and beliefs to become friends so that we as a whole can be more diverse in thought and perspective. I would make each city declare one day a month as Weather Day. People would have the option of taking the day off to go enjoy a day of beautiful weather with their family. I would make sure that any areas where trees are chopped down, new ones are planted along with all other sorts of plants. I would declare a “Pass it Forward” law. Everyone would have to do three good deeds a month, and whoever they do the good deed for would do the same for three other people. I would emphasize the seriousness of children who are orphaned and enslaved in sex trafficking, and I would encourage Americans to get up and do something about it. I would require that every child plays at least one instrument. Also, every public school would require that each student studies three different languages.
What a tragic transformation…
There aren’t many things that I hate more than rain, but I think I’d be okay with this forecast.
Would you like some coffee?
Do we all feel the need to document ourselves because we are unsure of our own place in the world; that we have the undying urge to leave a mark on this world, to say “I was there, I existed”? Or are we just narcissistic? Are we our own mirrors, reflecting our own projected desires? Could fame exist without an audience? Why do we desire an audience? It is because we fail to validate ourselves and our own actions? Do we perform for the audience or does the audience make us perform for them? Who is dictating who? What do we see in these people? What purpose do they serve? Why do we desire less in a time when we need more? Where are our heroes? Why are we worshiping false idols in times of crisis? Because we don’t want to see Rome burn? If the audience changes the performer will too. Reject false idols or reflect upon them. You can’t have it both ways.