Dear Five-Year-Old Me,
You should really stop throwing all those tantrums. Even though you think it’s going to help you get your way, it doesn’t. It just makes Mom want to pick you up and throw you at the wall. And when Mom tells you to stop poking Shaz, you should probably stop. He’s bigger than you, and I hope you’ve learned by now that he WILL punch you. One day in the future you two will love each other a lot, but right now you’re making it hard for that to happen. Also, good job with all the soccer and softball lately. One day you’ll be really great and you’ll be glad that Mom is making you go to all these practices. By the way, Dad is never going to buy you that motorized Barbie Jeep that you’ve been wanting, so just give up on that now. Well anyways, have fun spending the night at Erin’s house this weekend. Be careful around her cat Snowy. You’re REALLY allergic to her. And if you pet her too much your eyes will swell up and it will look like you got punched in the face.